“I am a nightmare walking, a psychopath talking King of my jungle, just a gangster stalking Living life like a firecracker, quick is my fuse Then dead as a doorknob, that’s the life I choose.”
Those lyrics (with a smidgen of creative license on the last line) are from Ice-T’s title track of the 1988 gangsta flick, “Colors.” While the movie focused on gang warfare between the Crips and Bloods in East Los Angeles, a vast number of young black males across the country are falling into the same destructive mindset.
This isn’t just a “black” problem. It’s a national crisis, capable of reaching out and affecting any of us (or our loved ones), anywhere and anytime. And if you think we can jail our way out, you’re overlooking the immense pain and suffering that occurs before individuals are ever arrested. We’ve got to reach these young men BEFORE they drift off course.
Considering a new report that found only 47 percent of black males graduated from high school in 2007-008, we have a lot of work to do. Even as we try to steer those young men in the right direction, the generation behind them might be more challenging: The BEST score of eighth-grade reading assessments – which measure how many black males read at or above the proficiency level – was a shockingly-low 15 percent (Kentucky, New Jersey); several states averaged only 5 percent.
Youngsters who possess such a scarcity of skills in the Information Age are doomed to be a drain on society – one way or another. Fortunately, the situation isn’t hopeless. But it’s going to take an understanding that dollars are better spent in prevention than detention. And acknowledgment that it’s no coincidence when twice as many black students are classified as “mentally retarded” (despite evidence that students from all groups are roughly the same at each intelligence level).
Dr. John H. Jackson, president and CEO of the Schott Foundation for Public Education – the organization that produced the study – said the manner in which states spend on education is more important than the amount spent. An example is tony Palm Beach County, Fla., which graduated only 22 percent of its black high school males compared to impoverished Newark, N.J., which graduated 79 percent. “The significance of New Jersey’s success is their decision to more equitably distribute their educational resources to all of the districts and students who needed them the most,” Johnson told theGrio, “but also target those resources in areas that are proven effective – providing more access to early education, highly effective teachers and rigorous curricula.”
Not every young black boy who’s below-par as an eighth-grader, or who fails to graduate from 12th grade, is headed for the life depicted in Ice-T’s lyrics. But we know that a number of them will follow that path of death and destruction unless we do something.
When Deron and I relocated to Fort Myers, Fla., 10 years ago, I pretended it wasn’t happening. I acted as if I was on vacation and would return to D.C. at any moment. So every time there was a break – spring break, winter break or summer break – I was on the first flight out. No, Fort Myers was not my home.
It didn’t matter that I was in sunny Florida, essentially starting a new career in education, meeting new people and making new decisions. I was still resisting the change. In fact, it took me several years to accept the fact that change happens and you can’t fight it. But over the years, I’ve gotten better at accepting it, navigating it and even enjoying it. Change isn’t so bad realize it’s unavoidable and uncontrollable.
However, that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
Here it is again, knocking at my door. Besides the fact that I’m starting work at a new school, my daughters are changing in a big way this year and I’m feeling all the emotion of their transitions. One is heading to high school while the other is starting middle school. This is definitely a new phase of parenting.
But change often brings rewards along the way.
The girls and I before riding the Wonder Wheel
My former basketball-shorts and T-shirt-wearing daughter continues to evolve into a pre-teen who thinks it’s “important to moisturize.” Meanwhile my new high-schooler has matured enough to tell me she doesn’t think it’s lady-like to curse. (Yes!)
Suddenly, motherhood feels different. My family feels different. A shift has happened and it’s out of my control. I find myself in a range of emotions – excited for them, a little sad for myself (because time is running away). I’m wondering what this means for our family time, praying that they/we can handle and balance all that comes with this change.
But mostly, I’m excited because change really does mean growth. And that’s what I want for me and my family. Growth.
As co-authors/co-publishers of the “50 Ways to Christ” series – and with the rapidly-approaching release of Vanessa’s debut novel, “The Second First Lady” – there was little chance we’d miss the National Christian Writers Conference at the Howard University Divinity School on Aug. 14. Founded by Antonio Crawford with assistance from Pam Perry (featured in the video above), the conference made for a long day, from 8 am to 6 pm, with a few kinks and a quick lunch. But it was a worthwhile investment of time and treasure.
One of the highlights was meeting Karen Hunter, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist who once worked at the newspaper I grew up reading from back to front – The (New York) Daily News. She has since become a heavyweight in the book world, co-authoring several best-sellers and launching Karen Hunter Publishing, a division of Pocket Books at Simon & Schuster. Karen reminded attendees that “words are powerful and we need to put them in the marketplace with that thought.” She also insisted that “our writing should be thoughtful and thought-provoking. Or why else do it?”
Karen did an outstanding job filling-in for Michelle McKinney Hammond as the keynote speaker, after Michelle had to cancel due to a family emergency. Karen joked about the unfairness in having to devise a speech on-the-spot AND having to follow the Howard University Gospel Choir. The acclaimed group treated us to three songs, including “Oh Happy Day” and “Total Praise.” They were small in number (only nine singers) but made a big impact.
The afternoon sessions focused on marketing, which we learned is about 90% of becoming successful authors. Andrew Morrison, president of Small Business Camp, talked about using books as leverage for consulting, contracting and speaking opportunities. Nationally-acclaimed motivational speaker and best-selling author Willie Jolley spoke about the need to “hustle” to sell your books, getting in front of as many people, groups, organizations and microphones as possible.
Sean Isaacs, CEO and co-founder of Isaacs Marketing Group noted that business schools define marketing as “the four Ps: product, price, placement and promotion.” But he offered his own, more-specific definition of marketing: “Strategies and tactics to identify, introduce, create, sell and maintain satisfying relationships with past, present and prospective customers that result in value for both the customer and the marketer.” The final presentation was made by William Patterson, CEO of The Baron Solution Group. He overwhelmed us with a wealth of information on developing a product line, creating residual income streams and getting others to promote your products and services at no cost.
So we’ve got plenty of work ahead as we near the release of “The Second First Lady” – not to mention releasing the second edition of “50 Ways to Put Christ Back in Christmas: And Keep the Spirit All Year Long.”
As it turns out, writing is (kind of) the easy part.
You can tell that the 18-year-old Afghan on Time’s cover this week was beautiful. And once you get past her grotesque disfiguration – courtesy of the Taliban – Aisha is still a beautiful young lady. Not only that, she displays a sense of pride and quiet strength that transcends her ordeal.
I’m glad that she had the courage to pose and Time had the courage to run the photo. Disturbing as it is, the picture forces us to confront the reality and brutality of war, shaking us from our normal casual observations and unintentional indifference. It also shows us the consequences for Afghan women if the Taliban isn’t defeated.
The two most horrendous offenses in my book are the abuse of women and the abuse of children. And atrocities don’t come much worse than cutting off noses and ears, splashing acid on faces or being stoned to death. Afghan women – among others – face that and more, and it’ll be even worse once the United States armed forces withdraw.
I know we’re going have to leave sooner or later. I can only pray that Aisha and her countrywomen don’t suffer further indignities as a result.
Shirley Sherrod was just the lastest in a long line of cases where race fueled a rush to judgement, followed by a rush to redress. And the rush works both ways, sometimes, as evidenced by the Duke Lacrosse scandal and D.C.’s Beltway sniper attacks.
On Monday, TheRoot.com took a look at nine historic examples of this phenomenon (with captions written by yours truly). We could’ve come up with 9,000 if we had more time, dating to the Scottsboro Boys and beyond, back to when folks took a look at Frederick Douglass and assumed he was just another ignorant, inarticulate Negro.
There’s been a lot of talk about “teachable moments” regarding race, especially since President Obama took office and held his “beer summit” with Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Cambridge police Sgt. James Crowley.
It’d be nice to learn something new from one of these “moments,” instead of reinforcing the same-old, same-old.
Is there a perfect age to give your child a cell phone?
Sometimes I long for the pre-cell phone days. Don’t get me wrong; I can’t imagine life without one. I don’t know what I did before getting one. But before there were cell phones, parents didn’t have to deal with the question of when their kids should get one.
I feel quite proud that we held off on our 14-year-old getting one until just a few months ago. To hear her tell it, she was the only girl on earth who didn’t have one at her age. Our reasoning was that she didn’t really “need” one. Eventually, her activities were starting to pick up and we saw that giving her one would ease our minds and make our lives easier.
But we didn’t anticipate her 11-year-old sister making the case that she should get one, too, because she’s “as, or more, mature” than her older sister. I think we were weak from the start.
Again, our thinking was that cell phone ownership should be based on need. Why does that argument seem so weak now? Is it the pressure we felt because “all” of her 11-year-old friends have one? Or were we accepting the fact that getting a cell phone is a rite of passage for this generation?
Or were we simply being wimps?
Whatever the case, we gave in. We’re now (God help us) a four-cell phone family.
This isn’t my first foray into publishing. However, it is the first time I’m releasing a novel so it feels sort of like the first time. And what a journey it’s been. Looking back it seems maybe the writing really was the easy part. After years of rejection letters, phases of inaction and indecision and discouragement – here I am.
My first novel, “The Second First Lady,” will be available from (Beckham Publishing) in September. I am excited and humbled to finally be at this moment. The decision to joint-venture publish wasn’t an easy one and it took me a while to get there. I really did want someone to read it, love it and offer me a book contract. Well that didn’t happen. I came close once but that was about it.
Interestingly, the rejection letters I got were positive, acknowledging that my story was strong and had great potential. That was more than enough for me to push ahead with my dream. Besides I was tired of talking about my book and not actually delivering on what I’ve been dreaming about doing forever. Otherwise known as procastination.
Of course there was the issue of trying to get an agent to shop it around. I did attempt to do so, but I just couldn’t find someone to bite.
If you can relate, please respond to this blog and share your story. Although this journey has been a long one, I believe the publishing of this book marks the beginning of yet another journey.
You might be surprised at the number of intelligent, well-educated and well-informed individuals who can’t name their elected officials at the local, state and national level. I was one of them until recently, and I’ve been amazed to discover more and more folks like that. Apparently, few of us took our civics lessons to heart, especially the part about knowing your representatives.
Two months ago, I began working with a candidate for the Prince George’s (Md.) County Council, my first foray into a political campaign.
Not long before then, I couldn’t tell you which councilmanic district or legislative district I live in, and I certainly couldn’t name the current officeholders. Now I’m finding that the majority of people I ask are just as clueless, even those with college degrees and good jobs, professionals who are productive and responsible members of society.
Why don’t more of us make a point to know which local councilmembers, state representatives and state senators represent us? Speaking from personal experience, I didn’t see much of a connection between my life and my elected officials. I didn’t see how knowing who’s who would make any difference, positive or negative.
For the most part, that’s true. Knowledge alone doesn’t make as much a difference as volunteering with Big Brothersor another service-oriented non-profit. It doesn’t make as much a difference as becoming involved with the homeowners association or neighborhood advisory group. It doesn’t make as much a difference as doing good works through my fraternity, church or business. That’s why my ignorance – although embarrassing when exposed – never really bothered me.
I see things a little differently now. It pays to know your elected officials because they can affect the efforts of your non-profit, homeowners group or business. If you keep track of your representatives and decide they’ve been a hindrance rather than a help, you can work against their re-election. If so, you must study the candidates running for office, making sure you make an informed decision. Then hold them accountable and repeat the process.
Judging by the turnout for candidates’ forums, public hearings, homeowner meetings and other civic-minded events (including most elections), I think the majority of citizens will remain spectators rather than participators. It’s simply too easy to do something fun instead, to leave the serious issues and serious work to others. But now that I’ve gotten off the sidelines, I can see the benefits of getting involved:
We had a great time over the weekend at the First Baptist Church of Glenarden’s 2010 Couples Retreat – “Love Beyond Limits: Igniting the Intimacy.
From the music of Dove Award-winning artists Angelo & Veronica, to the preaching of Rev. Jeffrey Johnson, Sr., to the teaching of sex therapists Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner, it was a wonderful experience.
In our book, “50 Ways to Put Christ in Your Marriage: And Live Happily Every Day,” we note the importance of investing in your relationship. We try to attend at least one marriage conference/retreat per year. And we’ve never regretted going whenever we’ve made it to one.
The FBCG event featured a concert by Angelo & Veronica, who shared some of their love songs. Their new album, “Still in Love,” is a testament that Christians can be as passionate about the mates as anyone else! And if you’re shy talking about love, sex and marriage, don’t listen to Rev. Johnson, or buy his books on the subject. That brother is in-your-face when discussing expressions of love, benefits of sex and realities of marriage. If we’re ever in Indianapolis on a Sunday, we KNOW which church we’ll attend!
Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner are noted sex therapists who have written many books to help couples develop healthy sexuality. They headlined the morning session July 16 in Newport News, Va., at the First Baptist Church of Glenarden’s 2010 Couples Retreat – Love Beyond Limits: Igniting the Intimacy.
The Penners make no secret that they still enjoy each other – in every way – after nearly 50 years of marriage. And they shared with the more than 200 married couples in attendance that God intended sex to be good, to be a regular part of marriage. We were shocked to learn that, roughly, one-third of married couples have sex about once per week; another third have it about once per month; and another third engage about 10 times per year or less!
Here are 10 keys the Penners presented to help couples ignite the intimacy:
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Those lyrics (with a smidgen of creative license on the last line) are from Ice-T’s title track of the 1988 gangsta flick, “Colors.” While the movie focused on gang warfare between the Crips and Bloods in East Los Angeles, a vast number of young black males across the country are falling into the same destructive mindset.
