Posted on February 5th, 2011
By DERON SNYDER
Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin got straight A’s at Denbigh High School in Newport News, Va., and he competed deep into statewide academic competitions. But he never let his football teammates know about his book smarts because he wanted to be viewed as a tough guy, not some soft brainiac.
Now, even as he’s on the verge of a second Super Bowl title in his fourth season as coach, some folks are still a little slow on the uptake regarding his brilliance.
“I think the first couple of years, people had an excuse here and an excuse there for why they didn’t want to give him any respect,” Steelers nose tackle Chris Hoke recently told reporters. “The guy has proved that he is a winner. Three of his four years, he has taken us to the playoffs, and two of his four, taken us to the Super Bowl. So you’ve got to give the guy credit.”
You would think so. But something besides Tomlin’s aptitude has always gotten more attention, whether it’s been his inexperience, his age, his race or the team or franchise he was blessed with.
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Posted on February 4th, 2011
By DERON SNYDER
Wednesday was “National Signing Day” for the country’s football-playing high school seniors. It’s a virtual national holiday in the world of sports, an occasion that’s grown to garner wall-to-wall TV coverage and up-to-the minute Web updates. The NCAA says about 7,000 football players annually sign letters-of-intent to accept scholarship offers (not to mention 4,000 basketball players and 25,000 student-athletes in non-revenue sports).
Thus concludes another recruiting cycle in which desperate football coaches logged thousands of miles and sat in numerous living rooms, hoping to land the nation’s prized recruits. Those blue-chip prospects – some courted by dozens of schools that often learn ‘The Decision’ like everyone else, by watching a press conference on ESPN – can have a dramatic impact on a coach’s career and a program’s fortunes.
But a football (or basketball) player’s signature on a scholarship has a vastly different meaning than a coach’s signature on a contract. And guess which party gets the short end of the deal.
A few weeks after then-Connecticut coach Randy Edsall sat in the home of recruit Michael Nebrich and made empty promises, we learned that Edsall was leaving UConn for the Maryland job. “I don’t want to say it made me feel betrayed, because he had to do what he had to do for his family,” Nebrich told The Washington Post last month. “Just with everything he was saying to me and assuring me he was going to be there, it was a weird feeling.”
Far from weird, it’s perfectly normal when college coaches depart for better opportunities, regardless of the time left on their contracts or the pledges made to incoming recruits. It happens every year without fail.
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Posted on February 4th, 2011
By VANESSA W. SNYDER
I was scrubbing black nail polish off my 11-year-old’s fingernails when it occurred to me that parenting has its joys at every age. Turns out she had polished her fingernails just before bed time and, of course, they got smudged while in the bed. She got up (mind you, not woke up) somewhat hysterical over the idea of attending school with smudgy polish. That’s a major crisis in the sixth grade. We were out of remover so I got my nail file and went to scrubbing.
When I think of my girls over the years, I realize I have dozens of stories like this – and they make me laugh. But more importantly, I realize that every age is a blessing. When your children hits the pre-teen and teen years, you can’t help reflecting and longing for the toddler-in-diaper days when they were so little, cute and cuddly… and couldn’t talk back. You can’t help but to romanticize and/or erase the crying, the whining and the worrying in those early years. The labor pains and late-night feedings fade into memories of warm hugs and constant giggles.
I guess that’s because the teen years challenge us in a different way and you’re never quite sure what to expect from day to day. We all know the quips about teenagers and how “awful” that stage is supposed to be. I even had a colleague, the parent of a teen at the time, jokingly advise me to do whatever I could to keep my kids from growing up – even if it meant sitting on them to stunt their growth. I understand what she meant now.
But I’m not going out like that. I’m determined to have a good time with my growing girls. Aside from shopping and sharing clothes and jewelry, we’re at a place where we can have real girl talk and serious conversations. I’m discovering they have a lot to say and a lot on their minds. And I’m loving it. It’s an amazing opportunity to offer support and get to know who they really are.
I’m working hard (and I hope you will too) to go against the grain and enjoy these years and every phase of parenting. Granted, it’s not easy because, well, they are teenagers and that means they are often self-absorbed, emotional and eclectic. Just like we were.
Every day in my classroom I get an up-close, inside view of teenagers and their myriad personalities. They are brilliant, opinionated, quirky, determined, thoughtful, caring, inquisitive, idealistic, mature, optimistic and endearing. I could go on. And, yes, I could make an equally long list of negative adjectives, but that’s been done enough.
Learning to appreciate the teen years is all a matter of mindset. Don’t buy into the myth that they exist to drive you crazy, even if it seems true on any given day. The fact is they’re evolving and finding their place in the world.
As parents, we get to ride along and help them find it.
Posted on February 1st, 2011
By DERON SNYDER
Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour was the 16-year-old valedictorian of his high school class in 1964 — also known as “Freedom Summer” — when the slaying of three civil rights workers punctuated escalating racial violence in his state. What does he remember about the time? “Not much,” he told The Associated Press recently. What he does remember is revisionist, including claims that his generation attended integrated schools and the racist White Citizens’ Councils were civil rights champions.
In October, it was discovered that a textbook in Virginia elementary and middle schools claimed that thousands of black soldiers fought for the South in the Civil War. According to “Our Virginia,” among the hordes of African-Americans fighting for the Confederacy were “two black battalions under the command of Stonewall Jackson.” Though Confederate apologists make similar assertions, most historians reject the claims, the textbooks have been pulled and the publisher is replacing them at no cost to the schools.
Then there are clueless wonders such as Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.), who last month insisted that the founding fathers “worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States,” a nation she said was founded on racial and ethnic diversity. But last summer, she claimed that President Obama was turning the United States into “a nation of slaves.”
And folks still ask if we really need a Black History Month? Are they serious?
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Posted on January 29th, 2011
By VANESSA W. SNYDER
Go study. Just study. All you need to do is study. Good grades don’t just happen, you have to study.
If I had a dime for every time I uttered some version of those words to a student or my own children, I’d have a nice little slush fund. The reality is most kids are not born with a study gene.
I hate to admit that I’m having a bit of an epiphany.
How many of us can say someone actually taught us how to study? I’m thinking back on my childhood and I’m sure no one took the time to show me how to study my schoolwork. Thankfully, I wanted to be a good student and I did decent in school. I did the best I could with what I knew. But now, I wonder how much better I would’ve done as a student if someone taught me how to study.
I had this revelation recently after helping my daughter study biology and French. Previously she had been studying on her own. After seeing less than favorable results, I decided to get more involved. We made flashcards, took notes and identified key information from her textbooks. I drilled her on the information and the outcome was much better. She learned the benefits of really studying and I learned the importance of teaching her study habits and supporting her.
Even in my classroom, I implement study skills into instruction because I realize students don’t necessarily arrive in my room with the ability to study new material. Many times, students really put forth the effort to study but don’t know where to begin.
Parents, you can help in this effort. If your children are struggling, show them what it means to really study. If you don’t know where to begin, here are some tips to get you started:
*Review tests/quiz dates with your child so you can begin studying early (and relieve stress).
*Break up your study sessions over a period of time (the reason for starting early).
*Help your children organize their study material, previewing textbooks, notes, handouts.
*Assist your children in picking out key information in chapters.
*Create practice questions and drill your children.
*Teach your children mnemonic devices (tricks to help them remember).
*Use a song if that’s your children’s learning style.
*Use highlighters, flashcards, visuals, manipulatives to assist the study process.
*Work in a quiet, comfortable area.
Posted on January 28th, 2011
By VANESSA W. SNYDER
The R-word just won’t go away. I’m talking about rejection. Writers know it well.
As an independent author, rejection is just a painful part of the game. I didn’t mail my manuscript to a hundreds of publishers like other authors, but I did mail it to several over the years. And, well, you know the rest.
However, my story is a little different because I finally got a “nice” rejection from a major publisher. And when I say nice I just mean the editor liked my book, but those with the decision-making power did not. The one who liked my book encouraged me to keep writing. So that’s what I did. I took my bruised ego and hurt feelings and decided that I had enough encouragement to find another way to get published.
I surmise many of us who opt for partner-publishing or self-publishing decide the same thing. We just don’t have the patience, interest or heart to sit around and wait to be discovered. But somehow we find the money, time and determination to get it done.
Now that my novel, “The Second First Lady,” is out, the R-word is still an issue. I made a call recently and it wasn’t exactly a rejection, but it was an honest “call us back in a few months.” Yet it felt like the R-word at work.
Just because you finally have your book in hand doesn’t mean rejection will leave you alone. It’s challenging to get press coverage. It’s tough to get people to buy your book. And if you’ve ever sat at one of those vendor tables as people walk by, you know what I’m talking about.
Sometimes it’s tough to be taken seriously.
But I’ve decided to face the R-word head-on, not run from it. I tell my kids that life isn’t fair and rejection happens. I tell them they have to tough it out sometimes and do whatever it takes to get what they want. So I’m taking my own advice and putting on my game face, doing what I have to do to get what I really want.
My stories – and your stories – are just as amazing and engaging as those who have the big publishers behind them. The world just doesn’t know it yet.
So, c’mon Mr. R. Give me what you got. I’m ready.
Posted on January 23rd, 2011
By DERON SNYDER
New York Giants defensive coordinator Perry Fewell was the “it” black candidate this off-season when it came to NFL head-coaching vacancies. Fewell interviewed for the top job with the Carolina Panthers, Denver Broncos and Cleveland Browns, all of whom hired someone else. His full slate was due to two factors, his status as a highly regarded coordinator and the NFL’s “Rooney Rule,” which requires teams to consider minority candidates for head coach and general manager openings.
Established in 2003, the rule has been wildly successful. Former Indianapolis Colts head coach Tony Dungy was the only black coach when it began; now there are eight minority coaches. This off-season marks the first time that three minority coaches were picked in the hiring cycle (Minnesota’s Leslie Frazier, Carolina’s Ron Rivera and Oakland’s Hue Jackson), and the first time that the majority of head coach job openings (three out of five) were filled by minorities.
Yet, there are those who question the policy’s effectiveness, while others conclude that it has run its course. Skeptics and critics complain that coaches are granted “token interviews” to fulfill the mandate, when teams know all along they plan to hire someone else. Another common argument is that the rule served its purpose and is no longer necessary, because teams will now naturally consider minority candidates without being forced.
Attorney Cyrus Mehri scoffs at both notions. “We have not reached the promised land,” says Mehri, who teamed with the late Johnnie Cochran to put the policy in place. “There’s a lot of hard work to be done, and it’s an uphill battle every hiring cycle. We’re still trying to open people’s minds. We’re in the process of changing the hearts and minds of NFL owners and, in turn, trying to open the hearts and minds of America.”
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Posted on January 22nd, 2011
By DERON SNYDER
Venus Williams’ rise from the rough streets of Compton, Calif., to become a world-champion tennis player is an incredible, inspiring tale. Along with her sister Serena, Venus Williams has smashed the country-club stereotype with a force harder than one of her blistering serves.
But a problem that has developed over the last few years is continuing to grow: Through two rounds of the 2011 Australian Open, before a hip-flexor injury forced her to withdraw on Friday, Williams’ attire was getting more notice than her play. As a fashion designer with her own clothing line, she likes the attention. But she’s sending the wrong message through some of her outfits, which skew closer to bad than good in the taste department.
Wednesday’s choice in her second-round victory against Sandra Zahlavova was a citrus-colored, basket-weave top. It was another talker, for sure, but nothing compared to Monday’s outfit, a formfitting, blue minidress no longer than a T-shirt. Thank goodness she decided at the last minute to forgo the “illusion” underwear she unveiled last year: flesh-colored shorts that made it appear as if she weren’t wearing any drawers at all. The misimpression was so convincing, Deadspin and other outlets asked the question, “Did Venus Go Commando?”
Last year also brought us the Hoochie Mama special, which she trotted out in the third round of the U.S. Open. A glorified, Spandex-like tank top, it was paired with matching, bedazzled panties that got as much airtime as the net itself. The top rode up to her waist during most points, causing her to constantly fidget and squirm and readjust.
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Posted on January 21st, 2011
By VANESSA W. SNYDER
I believe I am the disciplinarian in my home. You would agree if you could see the slight grin on my husband’s face when he “scolds” our daughters. Although I have to admit that saying I’m the disciplinarian is not saying a whole lot or at least as much as I want it to say.
I figured that out when I was talking recently to one of my best girlfriends about how she disciplines her son. One year he was slacking off on his schoolwork and she decided he would have a gift-free birthday — cards only. She made sure he did not receive gifts from anyone, including grandparents and other family members.
Another time she came home late to discover he hadn’t finished his homework. She awakened him and made him complete the work — right through his slumber. I was feeling kind of sorry for the little guy when she told me, but now I’m thinking that maybe she has the right idea. My friend believes in enforcing the rules and enforcing consequences when those rules are broken.
Well I’ve got plenty of rules but the enforcement piece needs some tweaking.
As a parent I’m feeling kind of wimpy and as a classroom teacher I’m thinking I like the difference between the kids who are held accountable and those who are not. They work harder at everything and they seem to have a certain focus on doing their best all the time. My friend’s son understands what is expected and strives to live up to those expectations. He is being held accountable. He knows there will be consequences if he falls short. What kind of classrooms and homes would we have if we truly believed in enforcing the rules we set?
So I’m learning from my friend that it’s okay to be tough. They won’t hate you (at least not forever). Children can accept discipline and accountability that is born out of love. I believe when children profoundly understand they have to answer to someone, i.e. you the parent, it’s reflected in their actions even when they’re not with you.
The funny thing is, when you establish this culture of accountability and discipline, a piece of you is always with them.
Posted on January 19th, 2011
By DERON SNYDER
There was welcome good news last month regarding teen pregnancies, at least at the national level. Unfortunately, students at Frayser High School in Memphis didn’t get the message, considering reports that about 90 girls are pregnant or have given birth in the last year.
That’s a stark contrast to a federal report on the 2009 teen birth rate — 39.1 per 1,000 women — which was the lowest rate in nearly 70 years of record-keeping on the issue. By comparison, about 17 percent of Frayser’s 508 girls are either currently pregnant or recently had babies.
What we have is a failure to communicate. What we need are more drastic, in-your-face approaches.
My first thought was something along the lines of Scared Straight!, the 1978 Academy Award-winning documentary on a prison diversion program at Rahway State Prison. Several reincarnations have followed since then, including Beyond Scared Straight, which attracted a record A&E audience when it debuted last week. I thought if teenage girls could get a firsthand look at the struggles, challenges and problems associated with teenage pregnancy, that might steer them clear.
But it occurred to me that the girls at Frayser DO have a firsthand look – through the lives of their teenage classmates who became pregnant and had babies. Yet, more and more of them continue down the same path, a virtual one-way ticket to persistent poverty. Even shows like MTV’s 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom, which purport to discourage teen girls from becoming mothers, add a certain glamour to the subjects’ lives just by putting them on TV.
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