Speak carefully, your kids are listening
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BY VANESSA W. SNYDER
T
he other day I overheard my daughters arguing about the childish behavior of one celebrity.
“Anybody can make a mistake!” one argued.
“Yeah well he’s old enough to not be having a tantrum for all the world to see,” the other retorted.
“Look I used to have tantrums…does that make me a bad person?”
“Used to?”
The conversation dissolved from there, but you get the idea. I was about to intervene until I realized they were repeating things I’ve said to them or someone else.
Have you ever just listened to your kid and heard yourself talking? My husband used the word “idiot” once to describe the actions of another driver in traffic, and the girls couldn’t wait to come home and try it out. I can recall many statements that flew out of my daughters’ mouths after originating in mine. Some of them good and some I wish I had kept to myself.
So if you’re inclined to use curse words, don’t be surprised when yours kids use them, too. Or if you like to gossip, don’t be annoyed when your kids pick up the habit.
It’s easy to forget they’re listening and paying attention because there’s not always an outward indication. And it goes beyond gossiping and cursing. For instance, math is not my favorite subject. I have terrible memories about trying to master math concepts in school. This isn’t something I want my daughters to pick up, so I’m careful not to whine and go on about it. But it’s a challenge, especially when I see one struggle with her math.
Despite the way kids often behave and despite what they say, they watch and listen more than we think. The influence we have on them is real and not to be taken lightly.
I have to watch myself every time I make a comment about my weight, my hair or anything else for that matter. They’re listening even when I don’t notice. They even pick up our sarcasm and try it out on us – which just isn’t pretty sometimes.
So remember the old lesson, especially when children are within earshot: Think before you speak.
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