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Mothers: Get Off The Rollercoaster!

Posted on January 5th, 20114 Comments

Any mother who is parenting teenage girls knows  it can be challenging to say the least. Somewhere around 12 or 13, things have a way of changing. Suddenly your little girl is telling you you’re ruining her life or you don’t understand or just leave her alone.

It kind of creeps up on you and if you’re not careful your hormones will be swinging with theirs. I really am convinced that part of it is hormonal and no matter what you do, there will be mood swings and all kinds of unexpected emotional drama.

I’ve learned that I don’t have to ride the rollercoaster of hormones or react to them.  That’s because as the older, wiser, woman in the house, I set the tone for my relationship with my daughters.

It truly is life-changing when you realize you don’t have to be nuts because they happen to be at any given moment. Before this epiphany I used to swear my girls were plotting and planning ways to drive me insane.  They really aren’t. They’re just being kids. They’re growing and changing every day – sometimes every hour – and it’s making them a bit kooky.

If you don’t believe me, think about how quickly they come out of their spells. My girls can be the sweetest, most adorable children — until … well you know the hormones kick in.

I have reached a point where I’m not surprised by random, unprovoked  outbursts that often dissolve as quickly as they begin. I choose to not react but to be as loving, understanding and supportive as possible.  I pray and take a deep breath. God never lets me down. (Qualifier: This doesn’t mean we should allow a free-for-all and fail to parent when they cross the line.)

Set the tone.

It’s not always easy to do (sometimes, okay many times, I have to bite my lip and count). But when I think about the women I want them to become, I know I have to work hard to set the best example I can.

I don’t get it right every time, but I’m getting better.

I set the tone.

VWS

Rush To Judgment Right Call On Coach

Posted on January 4th, 2011No Comments

One of college football’s brightest young coaches — black or white — Mike Haywood was poised to celebrate 2011 in grand fashion, having risen to a big-time school after just two seasons as head coach at lower-tier Miami (Ohio) University. The University of Pittsburgh announced him as its new coach on Dec. 16, giving him a five-year contract believed to be worth about $1 million annually. At the ninth stop in his 13-year coaching career, he had landed the top gig in one of the Bowl Championship Series conferences.

But the celebration ended abruptly on New Year’s Day. Haywood was arrested Dec. 31 at his home in South Bend, Ind., on domestic violence charges; hours after being released on bond Jan. 1, he was fired. “Head coaches are among the university’s most visible representatives and are expected to maintain high standards of personal conduct and to avoid situations that might reflect negatively on the university,” Pitt Chancellor Mark A. Nordenberg said in a statement. He said the decision “is not tied to any expectation with respect to the terms on which the legal proceeding now pending in Indiana might ultimately be concluded. Instead, it reflects a strong belief that moving forward with Mr. Haywood as our head coach is not possible under the existing circumstances.”

Haywood disagreed with the university’s decision and professed his innocence. “It isn’t fair,” he told the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. “The truth will eventually come out.” Perhaps he didn’t attack the mother of his child. Perhaps he will be exonerated in court. And perhaps Pittsburgh will have to pay damages if he files a lawsuit.

Regardless, this “rush to judgment” was the right move. 

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