Go study. Just study. All you need to do is study. Good grades don’t just happen, you have to study.
If I had a dime for every time I uttered some version of those words to a student or my own children, I’d have a nice little slush fund. The reality is most kids are not born with a study gene.
I hate to admit that I’m having a bit of an epiphany.
How many of us can say someone actually taught us how to study? I’m thinking back on my childhood and I’m sure no one took the time to show me how to study my schoolwork. Thankfully, I wanted to be a good student and I did decent in school. I did the best I could with what I knew. But now, I wonder how much better I would’ve done as a student if someone taught me how to study.
I had this revelation recently after helping my daughter study biology and French. Previously she had been studying on her own. After seeing less than favorable results, I decided to get more involved. We made flashcards, took notes and identified key information from her textbooks. I drilled her on the information and the outcome was much better. She learned the benefits of really studying and I learned the importance of teaching her study habits and supporting her.
Even in my classroom, I implement study skills into instruction because I realize students don’t necessarily arrive in my room with the ability to study new material. Many times, students really put forth the effort to study but don’t know where to begin.
Parents, you can help in this effort. If your children are struggling, show them what it means to really study. If you don’t know where to begin, here are some tips to get you started:
*Review tests/quiz dates with your child so you can begin studying early (and relieve stress).
*Break up your study sessions over a period of time (the reason for starting early).
*Help your children organize their study material, previewing textbooks, notes, handouts.
*Assist your children in picking out key information in chapters.
*Create practice questions and drill your children.
*Teach your children mnemonic devices (tricks to help them remember).
*Use a song if that’s your children’s learning style.
*Use highlighters, flashcards, visuals, manipulatives to assist the study process.
*Work in a quiet, comfortable area.
The R-word just won’t go away. I’m talking about rejection. Writers know it well.
As an independent author, rejection is just a painful part of the game. I didn’t mail my manuscript to a hundreds of publishers like other authors, but I did mail it to several over the years. And, well, you know the rest.
However, my story is a little different because I finally got a “nice” rejection from a major publisher. And when I say nice I just mean the editor liked my book, but those with the decision-making power did not. The one who liked my book encouraged me to keep writing. So that’s what I did. I took my bruised ego and hurt feelings and decided that I had enough encouragement to find another way to get published.
I surmise many of us who opt for partner-publishing or self-publishing decide the same thing. We just don’t have the patience, interest or heart to sit around and wait to be discovered. But somehow we find the money, time and determination to get it done.
Now that my novel, “The Second First Lady,” is out, the R-word is still an issue. I made a call recently and it wasn’t exactly a rejection, but it was an honest “call us back in a few months.” Yet it felt like the R-word at work.
Just because you finally have your book in hand doesn’t mean rejection will leave you alone. It’s challenging to get press coverage. It’s tough to get people to buy your book. And if you’ve ever sat at one of those vendor tables as people walk by, you know what I’m talking about.
Sometimes it’s tough to be taken seriously.
But I’ve decided to face the R-word head-on, not run from it. I tell my kids that life isn’t fair and rejection happens. I tell them they have to tough it out sometimes and do whatever it takes to get what they want. So I’m taking my own advice and putting on my game face, doing what I have to do to get what I really want.
My stories – and your stories – are just as amazing and engaging as those who have the big publishers behind them. The world just doesn’t know it yet.
New York Giants defensive coordinator Perry Fewell was the “it” black candidate this off-season when it came to NFL head-coaching vacancies. Fewell interviewed for the top job with the Carolina Panthers, Denver Broncos and Cleveland Browns, all of whom hired someone else. His full slate was due to two factors, his status as a highly regarded coordinator and the NFL’s “Rooney Rule,” which requires teams to consider minority candidates for head coach and general manager openings.
Established in 2003, the rule has been wildly successful. Former Indianapolis Colts head coach Tony Dungy was the only black coach when it began; now there are eight minority coaches. This off-season marks the first time that three minority coaches were picked in the hiring cycle (Minnesota’s Leslie Frazier, Carolina’s Ron Rivera and Oakland’s Hue Jackson), and the first time that the majority of head coach job openings (three out of five) were filled by minorities.
Yet, there are those who question the policy’s effectiveness, while others conclude that it has run its course. Skeptics and critics complain that coaches are granted “token interviews” to fulfill the mandate, when teams know all along they plan to hire someone else. Another common argument is that the rule served its purpose and is no longer necessary, because teams will now naturally consider minority candidates without being forced.
Attorney Cyrus Mehri scoffs at both notions. “We have not reached the promised land,” says Mehri, who teamed with the late Johnnie Cochran to put the policy in place. “There’s a lot of hard work to be done, and it’s an uphill battle every hiring cycle. We’re still trying to open people’s minds. We’re in the process of changing the hearts and minds of NFL owners and, in turn, trying to open the hearts and minds of America.”
Venus Williams’ rise from the rough streets of Compton, Calif., to become a world-champion tennis player is an incredible, inspiring tale. Along with her sister Serena, Venus Williams has smashed the country-club stereotype with a force harder than one of her blistering serves.
But a problem that has developed over the last few years is continuing to grow: Through two rounds of the 2011 Australian Open, before a hip-flexor injury forced her to withdraw on Friday, Williams’ attire was getting more notice than her play. As a fashion designer with her own clothing line, she likes the attention. But she’s sending the wrong message through some of her outfits, which skew closer to bad than good in the taste department.
Wednesday’s choice in her second-round victory against Sandra Zahlavova was a citrus-colored, basket-weave top. It was another talker, for sure, but nothing compared to Monday’s outfit, a formfitting, blue minidress no longer than a T-shirt. Thank goodness she decided at the last minute to forgo the “illusion” underwear she unveiled last year: flesh-colored shorts that made it appear as if she weren’t wearing any drawers at all. The misimpression was so convincing, Deadspin and other outlets asked the question, “Did Venus Go Commando?”
Last year also brought us the Hoochie Mama special, which she trotted out in the third round of the U.S. Open. A glorified, Spandex-like tank top, it was paired with matching, bedazzled panties that got as much airtime as the net itself. The top rode up to her waist during most points, causing her to constantly fidget and squirm and readjust.
I believe I am the disciplinarian in my home. You would agree if you could see the slight grin on my husband’s face when he “scolds” our daughters. Although I have to admit that saying I’m the disciplinarian is not saying a whole lot or at least as much as I want it to say.
I figured that out when I was talking recently to one of my best girlfriends about how she disciplines her son. One year he was slacking off on his schoolwork and she decided he would have a gift-free birthday — cards only. She made sure he did not receive gifts from anyone, including grandparents and other family members.
Another time she came home late to discover he hadn’t finished his homework. She awakened him and made him complete the work — right through his slumber. I was feeling kind of sorry for the little guy when she told me, but now I’m thinking that maybe she has the right idea. My friend believes in enforcing the rules and enforcing consequences when those rules are broken.
Well I’ve got plenty of rules but the enforcement piece needs some tweaking.
As a parent I’m feeling kind of wimpy and as a classroom teacher I’m thinking I like the difference between the kids who are held accountable and those who are not. They work harder at everything and they seem to have a certain focus on doing their best all the time. My friend’s son understands what is expected and strives to live up to those expectations. He is being held accountable. He knows there will be consequences if he falls short. What kind of classrooms and homes would we have if we truly believed in enforcing the rules we set?
So I’m learning from my friend that it’s okay to be tough. They won’t hate you (at least not forever). Children can accept discipline and accountability that is born out of love. I believe when children profoundly understand they have to answer to someone, i.e. you the parent, it’s reflected in their actions even when they’re not with you.
The funny thing is, when you establish this culture of accountability and discipline, a piece of you is always with them.
There was welcome good news last month regarding teen pregnancies, at least at the national level. Unfortunately, students at Frayser High School in Memphis didn’t get the message, considering reports that about 90 girls are pregnant or have given birth in the last year.
That’s a stark contrast to a federal report on the 2009 teen birth rate — 39.1 per 1,000 women — which was the lowest rate in nearly 70 years of record-keeping on the issue. By comparison, about 17 percent of Frayser’s 508 girls are either currently pregnant or recently had babies.
What we have is a failure to communicate. What we need are more drastic, in-your-face approaches.
My first thought was something along the lines of Scared Straight!, the 1978 Academy Award-winning documentary on a prison diversion program at Rahway State Prison. Several reincarnations have followed since then, including Beyond Scared Straight, which attracted a record A&E audience when it debuted last week. I thought if teenage girls could get a firsthand look at the struggles, challenges and problems associated with teenage pregnancy, that might steer them clear.
But it occurred to me that the girls at Frayser DO have a firsthand look – through the lives of their teenage classmates who became pregnant and had babies. Yet, more and more of them continue down the same path, a virtual one-way ticket to persistent poverty. Even shows like MTV’s 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom, which purport to discourage teen girls from becoming mothers, add a certain glamour to the subjects’ lives just by putting them on TV.
Any time a school basketball coach requires his young men’s hair to be above their eyebrows, collars and ears, it’s just a matter of time before some player complains about the rule. And considering the popularity of hairstyles such as dreadlocks and cornrows, it won’t be surprising if African Americans are among the loudest protesters — although long-haired white players who idolize the likes of NBA All-Star Steve Nash might also be opposed.
But whether the rule affects black players more than white players is beside the point. The real question is whether it’s appropriate for coaches to make hairstyles a factor in who stays on the team and who’s dismissed. Patrick and Melissa Hayden recently filed a lawsuit in U.S. District Court in Indianapolis, arguing that the Greensburg Junior High team’s haircut policy should be declared unconstitutional. Their 14-year-old son was kicked off the team last fall after refusing to cut his hair in compliance with the team rules. The Haydens contend that the policy violates their son’s rights and also discriminates by gender because it doesn’t apply to female players. They’re suing because the coach and school officials wouldn’t change the rule.
“What they’re trying to do here is teach [their son] a life lesson, which simply is that you fight for what’s right,” Ron Frazier, the Haydens’ attorney, told the Indianapolis Star. “This is classic David versus Goliath, and they want their son to understand that.”
I fear they’re teaching him a totally different lesson, one closer to Homer and Bart than David and Goliath. This is a classic example of selfish, spoiled individuals who believe rules shouldn’t apply to them, at least not before litigation to try to get their way. The Haydens should want their son to understand that life is full of choices and consequences — great and small — applicable to both rights and privileges. They should also want him to grasp the difference between those last two concepts.
As the father of two young daughters – not to mention the husband of a National Board-certified teacher with a Master’s in education – I have great interest in issues such as school reform, standardized testing, academic achievement, teacher performance, etc. But even without the wife and kids, the following video still fascinates me.
Actually, the future of education affects every one of us, whether we have children in school or no children at all. And this video is must-see viewing if you’re concerned about rising dropouts and falling grades; or the prevalence of drugged kids diagnosed with attention deficits; or the over-reliance on standardized testing; or the millions of dollars misspent on a public education system still based on agrarian cycles and an industrial economy.
If nothing else, the wonderful drawings and the narrator’s engaging British accent should be enough to keep your attention for 11 minutes. It’s extremely informative and thoroughly enjoyable.
Now, let’s pray that education officials take notes and take action.
It’s such a wonderful word but not always easy for writers to find.
Admittedly, I’ve never truly had writer’s block. (I’ve had a few cases of lazy block but that’s another blog). I love to write so much I can almost always come up with something to say.
But today I’m thinking about what inspires me and maybe what inspires me will inspire you –to write.
Lately, I’m feeling pretty inspired. I think the reason is because I’ve decided to slow down a bit so I can see, think and absorb the intricacies of my life and those around me. When I’m not moving too fast I can hear what my kids are saying and I can see who they really are. In fact, I learn a lot about myself by watching my kids. A good friend of mine, Kimberly Parker has created several books from listening to her kids.
And I’m not just watching my kids. I’m watching and listening to the kids I teach. Good educators should do that anyway. If we don’t hear and see them, I don’t think we can truly teach them. The teens I interact with are full of stories, experiences and insights to feed my never ending writing appetite.
As a wife, there’s plenty to hear when my husband speaks. I think that’s why I decided to make the main character in my novel a male. Somehow I got inside the male mind and created a character. I’ve gathered so much from listening to my husband of 20 years — and my father, brothers, cousins and friends.
Then there are the people I interact with daily. These interactions may be fleeting. Others might be significant. When I take the time to engage with people I learn so much. These interactions somehow find their way into my characters and plots. In my creative mind I can embellish and twist these moments into stories that will move and inspire others. But they wouldn’t be there if I wasn’t slowing down enough to hear. Characters really do summon you. While writing The Second First Lady, I couldn’t take a break because my characters wouldn’t let me.
It’s not too late to make writing affirmations for the year.
I’m purposely not calling them “resolutions,” because I want something that’s “affirming.” As mentioned in recent posts, so much of writing begins with your state of mind.
I’ve decided to keep it simple for 2011. Here they are:
1. I will write consistently, whether it’s journaling, blogging or novel writing.
2. I will read about writing so I can get better. A good source is Better English 101.
3. I will “commune” with other writers.
4. I will write my ideas down so I don’t forget them.
5. I will look for new places to showcase my writing.
6. I will be a prolific writer.
7. I will copyright my work.
8. I will be encouraged by writers who are already successful.
9. I will not be discouraged by those who reject my writing.
10. I will believe in the uniqueness of the writing gift God has given me.
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By VANESSA W. SNYDER
