Ten Keys to Igniting the Intimacy
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Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner are noted sex therapists who have written many books to help couples develop healthy sexuality. They headlined the morning session July 16 in Newport News, Va., at the First Baptist Church of Glenarden’s 2010 Couples Retreat – Love Beyond Limits: Igniting the Intimacy.
The Penners make no secret that they still enjoy each other – in every way – after nearly 50 years of marriage. And they shared with the more than 200 married couples in attendance that God intended sex to be good, to be a regular part of marriage. We were shocked to learn that, roughly, one-third of married couples have sex about once per week; another third have it about once per month; and another third engage about 10 times per year or less!
Here are 10 keys the Penners presented to help couples ignite the intimacy:
- Go for enjoying, rather than scoring.
- Plan for, rather than wait, for spontaneity.
- Leave anger, shame, guilt and need for control out of the bedroom.
- Identify problems and get help early.
- Protect your marriage from affairs, pornography and apathy.
- Make your differences work for you.
- Accept mutual responsibility to create the best possible sex life, given where you both are at this stage of life.
- Learn to have fun and play together.
- Keep talking and learning about sex and each other.
- Keep kissing passionately!
