You can tell that the 18-year-old Afghan on Time’s cover this week was beautiful. And once you get past her grotesque disfiguration – courtesy of the Taliban – Aisha is still a beautiful young lady. Not only that, she displays a sense of pride and quiet strength that transcends her ordeal.
I’m glad that she had the courage to pose and Time had the courage to run the photo. Disturbing as it is, the picture forces us to confront the reality and brutality of war, shaking us from our normal casual observations and unintentional indifference. It also shows us the consequences for Afghan women if the Taliban isn’t defeated.
The two most horrendous offenses in my book are the abuse of women and the abuse of children. And atrocities don’t come much worse than cutting off noses and ears, splashing acid on faces or being stoned to death. Afghan women – among others – face that and more, and it’ll be even worse once the United States armed forces withdraw.
I know we’re going have to leave sooner or later. I can only pray that Aisha and her countrywomen don’t suffer further indignities as a result.
Shirley Sherrod was just the lastest in a long line of cases where race fueled a rush to judgement, followed by a rush to redress. And the rush works both ways, sometimes, as evidenced by the Duke Lacrosse scandal and D.C.’s Beltway sniper attacks.
On Monday, TheRoot.com took a look at nine historic examples of this phenomenon (with captions written by yours truly). We could’ve come up with 9,000 if we had more time, dating to the Scottsboro Boys and beyond, back to when folks took a look at Frederick Douglass and assumed he was just another ignorant, inarticulate Negro.
There’s been a lot of talk about “teachable moments” regarding race, especially since President Obama took office and held his “beer summit” with Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Cambridge police Sgt. James Crowley.
It’d be nice to learn something new from one of these “moments,” instead of reinforcing the same-old, same-old.
Is there a perfect age to give your child a cell phone?
Sometimes I long for the pre-cell phone days. Don’t get me wrong; I can’t imagine life without one. I don’t know what I did before getting one. But before there were cell phones, parents didn’t have to deal with the question of when their kids should get one.
I feel quite proud that we held off on our 14-year-old getting one until just a few months ago. To hear her tell it, she was the only girl on earth who didn’t have one at her age. Our reasoning was that she didn’t really “need” one. Eventually, her activities were starting to pick up and we saw that giving her one would ease our minds and make our lives easier.
But we didn’t anticipate her 11-year-old sister making the case that she should get one, too, because she’s “as, or more, mature” than her older sister. I think we were weak from the start.
Again, our thinking was that cell phone ownership should be based on need. Why does that argument seem so weak now? Is it the pressure we felt because “all” of her 11-year-old friends have one? Or were we accepting the fact that getting a cell phone is a rite of passage for this generation?
Or were we simply being wimps?
Whatever the case, we gave in. We’re now (God help us) a four-cell phone family.
This isn’t my first foray into publishing. However, it is the first time I’m releasing a novel so it feels sort of like the first time. And what a journey it’s been. Looking back it seems maybe the writing really was the easy part. After years of rejection letters, phases of inaction and indecision and discouragement – here I am.
My first novel, “The Second First Lady,” will be available from (Beckham Publishing) in September. I am excited and humbled to finally be at this moment. The decision to joint-venture publish wasn’t an easy one and it took me a while to get there. I really did want someone to read it, love it and offer me a book contract. Well that didn’t happen. I came close once but that was about it.
Interestingly, the rejection letters I got were positive, acknowledging that my story was strong and had great potential. That was more than enough for me to push ahead with my dream. Besides I was tired of talking about my book and not actually delivering on what I’ve been dreaming about doing forever. Otherwise known as procastination.
Of course there was the issue of trying to get an agent to shop it around. I did attempt to do so, but I just couldn’t find someone to bite.
If you can relate, please respond to this blog and share your story. Although this journey has been a long one, I believe the publishing of this book marks the beginning of yet another journey.
You might be surprised at the number of intelligent, well-educated and well-informed individuals who can’t name their elected officials at the local, state and national level. I was one of them until recently, and I’ve been amazed to discover more and more folks like that. Apparently, few of us took our civics lessons to heart, especially the part about knowing your representatives.
Two months ago, I began working with a candidate for the Prince George’s (Md.) County Council, my first foray into a political campaign.
Not long before then, I couldn’t tell you which councilmanic district or legislative district I live in, and I certainly couldn’t name the current officeholders. Now I’m finding that the majority of people I ask are just as clueless, even those with college degrees and good jobs, professionals who are productive and responsible members of society.
Why don’t more of us make a point to know which local councilmembers, state representatives and state senators represent us? Speaking from personal experience, I didn’t see much of a connection between my life and my elected officials. I didn’t see how knowing who’s who would make any difference, positive or negative.
For the most part, that’s true. Knowledge alone doesn’t make as much a difference as volunteering with Big Brothersor another service-oriented non-profit. It doesn’t make as much a difference as becoming involved with the homeowners association or neighborhood advisory group. It doesn’t make as much a difference as doing good works through my fraternity, church or business. That’s why my ignorance – although embarrassing when exposed – never really bothered me.
I see things a little differently now. It pays to know your elected officials because they can affect the efforts of your non-profit, homeowners group or business. If you keep track of your representatives and decide they’ve been a hindrance rather than a help, you can work against their re-election. If so, you must study the candidates running for office, making sure you make an informed decision. Then hold them accountable and repeat the process.
Judging by the turnout for candidates’ forums, public hearings, homeowner meetings and other civic-minded events (including most elections), I think the majority of citizens will remain spectators rather than participators. It’s simply too easy to do something fun instead, to leave the serious issues and serious work to others. But now that I’ve gotten off the sidelines, I can see the benefits of getting involved:
We had a great time over the weekend at the First Baptist Church of Glenarden’s 2010 Couples Retreat – “Love Beyond Limits: Igniting the Intimacy.
From the music of Dove Award-winning artists Angelo & Veronica, to the preaching of Rev. Jeffrey Johnson, Sr., to the teaching of sex therapists Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner, it was a wonderful experience.
In our book, “50 Ways to Put Christ in Your Marriage: And Live Happily Every Day,” we note the importance of investing in your relationship. We try to attend at least one marriage conference/retreat per year. And we’ve never regretted going whenever we’ve made it to one.
The FBCG event featured a concert by Angelo & Veronica, who shared some of their love songs. Their new album, “Still in Love,” is a testament that Christians can be as passionate about the mates as anyone else! And if you’re shy talking about love, sex and marriage, don’t listen to Rev. Johnson, or buy his books on the subject. That brother is in-your-face when discussing expressions of love, benefits of sex and realities of marriage. If we’re ever in Indianapolis on a Sunday, we KNOW which church we’ll attend!
Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner are noted sex therapists who have written many books to help couples develop healthy sexuality. They headlined the morning session July 16 in Newport News, Va., at the First Baptist Church of Glenarden’s 2010 Couples Retreat – Love Beyond Limits: Igniting the Intimacy.
The Penners make no secret that they still enjoy each other – in every way – after nearly 50 years of marriage. And they shared with the more than 200 married couples in attendance that God intended sex to be good, to be a regular part of marriage. We were shocked to learn that, roughly, one-third of married couples have sex about once per week; another third have it about once per month; and another third engage about 10 times per year or less!
Here are 10 keys the Penners presented to help couples ignite the intimacy:
Vanessa and I would like to welcome you to our site, which we hope you’ll bookmark and visit regularly. In addition to being the place where we detail our services and display our products, blackdoorventures.com will provide news, information and commentary on a variety of issues we hold dear. These include, in no particular order: culture, education, faith, family, health, media, politics and sports. (OK, they’re listed alphabetically; I couldn’t help it). That’s it for now, but stay tuned. Peace, joy and blessings.
This is us shortly after checking into the Marriott at Center City in Newport News, Va., for the First Baptist Church of Glenarden’s 2010 Couples Retreat – “Love Beyond Limits: Igniting the Intimacy.”
There was one session Thursday night, and an assignment was waiting in our room when we returned. We each had to reflect on our wedding day and wedding night, and share our version of events. It was nice to go back and remember some details you might’ve forgotten, and some of the emotions of that day/night.
Later, we’ll provide a summary of some “firestarters” we learned this weekend!
He’s a renowned pastor at the height of his career, heading a congregation of middle- to upper-class black professionals. The church is bulging and he’s building a boys’ school in “the ’hood.”
But then the unthinkable happens: His high school sweetheart and wife of 15 years dies unexpectedly, leaving him alone with the ministry and a 14-year-old son. He must go on, but doesn’t know how to re-enter the dating game. Plenty of women are lining up because he’s such a “good catch.” Meanwhile, his son shuts down on him.
“The Second First Lady” is the story of Clairmont Jenkins, a recently-widowed 40-year-old pastor in a small Florida town. Clairmont is a progressive preacher with a sincere desire to do God’s will and make a difference, but his wife’s death throws a wrench in his plans. He must learn how to date again and be a single parent, while figuring out what God wants him to do for the congregation and the community.
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You can tell that the 18-year-old Afghan on Time’s cover this week was beautiful. And once you get past her grotesque disfiguration – courtesy of the Taliban – Aisha is still a beautiful young lady. Not only that, she displays a sense of pride and quiet strength that transcends her ordeal.
